


When He Comes Home

by Catfeyrac



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Recovery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-10
Updated: 2014-06-10
Packaged: 2018-02-04 02:25:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1762873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catfeyrac/pseuds/Catfeyrac
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Steve recovers from the helicarrier explosion, someone comes knocking on his door.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was a month after Steve got out of the hospital. He had spent his time trying to figure out where Bucky might be, but there was no one who had seen him. You think people would notice a guy with a metal arm. Steve didn’t want to give up, but Sam was telling him he wasn’t ready to go on a country-wide search while the bullet in his stomach was still being recovered. The super soldier was sitting in his apartment, just staring at the ceiling, reminiscing like the old man he really was. Suddenly there was a knock at the door. He shot up, his hand flying to grab his shield, only to remember he’d lost it in the ocean when the helicarrier exploded. Not knowing who to expect, he prepared himself before opening the door. Standing there was Bucky. He looked dirty and half starved, with a jacket and a hat covering his hair so he looked somewhat like a normal person, if not a homeless one. His beard was beginning to grow in unkemptly and he had tears in his eyes, but it was Bucky. Steve opened the door all the way, staring unbelieving at the man in front of him.  
“My… My name is James… Buchanan Barnes… But you called me Bucky.” He said, his mouth dry and nervous; his eyes kept darting from Steve to the floor to the sides, as if he was expecting someone to attack him.  
“You remembered?”  
Bucky nodded slowly, his hands starting to wring before he stopped and looked at them brokenly.  
“Come in,” Steve said gently, “You look like you haven’t eaten or showered in a while.”  
Bucky stared at him, slowly walking in when Steve lead him.  
“Sorry about the window… and your friend.” Bucky mumbled, staring at the newly replaced window.  
“Thanks,” Steve said after a moment. “If you want to take a shower, bathroom is right down that hall, first door. I’ll find some clean clothes for you and leave them on the sink.”  
Bucky stared at him for a moment, then nodded and went to the bathroom. Steve watched him until he disappeared from sight, then went to his bedroom, finding some shorts and a t-shirt for him. He went into the bathroom, where Bucky was staring at himself in the mirror, running a hand over his overgrown stubble.  
“You wanna shave that off?” Steve said, looking at Bucky’s reflection.  
Bucky nodded, and Steve reached to the medicine cabinet and pulled out a razor and shaving cream. He put them and the clothes on the sink.  
“You know how to work it?” He asked, gesturing to the shower.  
Bucky shook his head.  
Steve went past Bucky and turned the shower on, flashing Bucky a quick smile.  
“New technology, kinda hard to figure out sometimes.” He said, walking out and closing the door behind him.  
Steve was tempted to call Sam and tell him that he found Bucky, or that Bucky had found him, but he thought better of it. Bucky was already nervous and probably unstable, having Sam wouldn’t be the best option at the moment. So Steve went on to the next thing. Bucky needed food.

When Bucky came out, Steve had just finished making pancakes, just like Sam taught him. The shorts were a little saggy and the t-shirt was loose on the chest; his hair hung damply.  
“Steve?” Bucky said shakily. He held up the razor, silently asking for help.  
Steve went over, setting the plate on the table.  
“You want me to do it?”  
Bucky slowly nodded. Steve took him back into the bathroom and sat him on the toilet. He grabbed the can of shaving cream and squirted some into his hand, lathering it onto Bucky’s face; the latter was staring silently up at the ceiling. He took the razor and began gliding it slowly across, getting rid of the unwanted hair. Bucky stared silently, trying to hold still and not remember the hands of Hydra. They weren’t as gentle as Steve’s. It was unfamiliar, but pleasant. Soon Steve was done, and he handed a towel to Bucky. He wiped his face off, while Steve told him there was food ready and left. He stood and stared at the mirror. The man staring back looked more like the man in the museum, from the flashes of memories that came.  
“Bucky?”  
He looked away and went to Steve, who was setting a glass of water down by the plate stacked with pancakes.  
“They are really good, especially with syrup.” Steve said, sitting down across from Bucky.  
Bucky picked up the knife and started cutting a piece, looking to Steve to see if that was right. Steve nodded and he continued cutting it until they were all bite size. Steve passed the syrup bottle to him.  
“Try it.”  
He poured the syrup on, picked up his fork, and carefully took a bite of it. His eyes widened a little as he chewed.  
“Good isn’t it? Mine aren’t the best; Sam is the best at them.”  
Bucky kept eating, barely stopping to breathe or chew. Steve smiled. Maybe there was a chance he could bring Bucky back. Although he knew that the Bucky he knew would never really be recovered. He had suffered through too much for that. But he would take what he could get.  
After the plate was empty, Bucky chugged the glass of water, sighing in relief. Steve froze. That was the first human reaction he’d seen.  
“Feeling better?” Steve asked, breaking into another smile.  
Bucky nodded. It was still too brisk. But Steve was willing to wait.  
“You must be tired. You can sleep in my bed.”  
Bucky nodded, and Steve led him to the bedroom. Bucky slowly walked to the bed and sat on it, unsure.  
“You can sleep here, and stay as long as you’d like. Actually, I hope you’ll stay. Whatever you are going through, we can work out tomorrow, alright? Right now, all you have to do is rest.” Steve said. “Come out whenever you wake up, or whenever you want. I’ll knock at noon to see if you’re alright.”  
Bucky nodded, and Steve walked out, before looking back.  
“It’s good to have you back, Buck.”  
Bucky didn’t say anything, just nodded slowly again. Steve shut the door and went to the closet, pulling out a blanket. He was using an old blanket and a couch pillow, and the couch itself was a little small, but Steve was still happy at having his best friend back.

Bucky slowly moved himself until he was lying. The pillow was soft, softer than anything he’d ever felt. It was all foreign to him, this odd comfort. Eventually, he drifted into a sleep filled with nightmares, just like every night he could remember. Except this time, it seemed like the hands almost couldn’t reach him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky meets Sam

A week later, Steve had managed to get more words out of Bucky. He told him what he remembered, what he saw in the museum and outside, and even a little of what Hydra had done to him. He had remembered waking up after the fall, his arm gone and replaced, and how they brainwashed him and wiped his memory. He'd also come to realize that it was not completely permanent, which is why they had to do it over and over. The longer he was out of Hydra’s reach, the more he remembered.  
 _“The memories that you are in are mostly nice… all the ones after are just pain and killing…”_

_Ringringringring._  
Steve picked up his phone and answered it.  
“Hello?”  
“Steve, where the hell have you been, man? You haven't called in a week.” Sam’s voice said loudly.  
“Yeah, sorry. Bucky showed up at my door, I thought it would be better if you weren't here while he was unstable.” Steve said, looking over at Bucky, who was sitting on the couch and staring at the TV intently. Quite hilarious given that he was watching Project Runway.  
“Wait, he what?” Sam asked, astonished.  
“He showed up at my door a week ago, and I took him in. He’s remembering things, even from our past. Hydra’s brainwash isn't permanent. He’s not as quiet; he’s at least starting to act like Bucky.”  
“Well, I'll be damned… Well, I have one of my classes this afternoon. If you think it might help, you can bring him by.” Sam offered.  
“Sure, I think it might help. He’s… he killed a lot of people Sam. Innocent people. He feels guilty as hell, even though he was brainwashed to do it. And he seems uncomfortable about his arm.” Steve explained, lowering his voice.  
“Mhm. I'll see what I can do about that then.”  
“Thanks, Sam.” Steve said, ending the call and walking back into the living room. Bucky looked very confused by the dress on the screen.  
“Is that really what people wear now?” Bucky asked, staring at the short dress with weird patterns and geometric shapes popping out.  
Steve chuckled, “No, not normally. More like that one.” He gestured to the next dress, which was a plain white one.  
“Oh… Okay…”  
Steve sat on the chair next to the couch.  
“You know, I’m disappointed. I thought there would be flying car-” He stopped short, freezing for a moment before looking at the ground. “I guess I killed that…”  
Steve instantly knew what he was saying, clicking it together; he got back up and knelt in front of Bucky. “None of that is your fault. Hydra did that. It was the Winter Soldier, not Bucky. You aren't the Winter Soldier anymore; the blood isn't on your hands. It’s on Hydra’s, and they are gone.”  
Bucky stared into Steve’s eyes, trying to figure out if he was lying. When he saw that Steve was being honest, he stared back at the ground.

Steve took Bucky to Sam’s meeting, and nothing seemed to happen during it. Bucky had the same confused expression the whole time as he did when he remembered something or Steve was taking care of him. Afterwards, Sam went up to them.  
“I can't do anything about the metal arm itself, but I did ask Mary if she could knit something to cover it up, kinda like a glove I guess, but all the way up. It’ll keep it warm too.” He said.  
“Thanks. Sam, Bucky. Bucky, this is my friend Sam.”  
“Steve told me you make good pancakes.” Bucky said to Sam, who laughed.  
“Yeah, I taught Steve how to make them.”  
Bucky nodded, “Pancakes are good.”  
Sam tried not to laugh as Bucky wandered a little away, looking at the things on the wall.  
“Man… super trained assassin and high class killer… he likes pancakes.” Sam said quietly so Bucky couldn't hear.  
“Yeah, I made them for him when he first showed up; he keeps asking me for them. He also really likes the TV, he watches whatever is on. He was watching Project Runway when you called.” Steve said, smiling and looking over at Bucky.  
“That is comedy gold, man.” Sam chuckled.  
They watched Bucky for another moment. He was reading a poster for another program the building offered.  
“He might be alright then. He’ll always have the bad memories, but maybe we could help him out through that.” Sam said.  
“He has nightmares. I can sometimes hear him shoot up in the bed or gasp for breath, he even screamed once. I don’t know if I should go in there, I don’t know if it would make it better or worse.” Steve said, looking at Sam.  
“Going in there and calming him down would be the best; I've seen cases where if someone is calmed by a loved one enough, they will start to stop having the nightmares.” Sam suggested.  
Steve nodded, “I’ll keep that in mind next time he has them.” He looked back over at Bucky, who was staring at him. “Ready to go, Buck?”  
Bucky nodded and followed Steve like a lost puppy out the door. Sam simply shook his head, mumbling “Never would've believed it…”


End file.
